Want to be a lean, mean sex machine? At 97 calories per satisfying cup, this vegetarian collard greens soup is a diet must-have. Plus collard greens make you sexy!
Seriously. This soup is everything.
Filling. Craveable. Low calorie. Easy to make. Packed with fiber, protein and vitamins. And the star ingredient, collard greens, can actually improve your orgasms.
You guys know I always hook you up with the good stuff.
I’ve been on a mission to feel fierce lately. So I decided to amp up my workouts, not eat half a jar of peanut butter every day and lose a few pounds.
And I decided to come up with a filling, nourishing, satisfying soup that’s full of good stuff and not calories, so I can have a ton of it if I want to.
Because eating. I love it.
The plan was to use kale in my super fierce soup, but when I got to the store…no kale! NO KALE!!!
Cue the saddest face that’s ever happened in a produce aisle.Readers love this soup! A weight loss powerhouse, plus delicious. #vegan #loseweight #healthyClick To Tweet
But they did have a super giant bag of collard greens. Collard greens??? Really? But I’ve never tried collard greens before, and new things scare me.
But I did want something leafy and green in my fierce soup?
Hells yes. So I took them home and made sweet sweet soup. Three times. And I learned something:
Collard greens make the best soup ever.
I had no idea collard greens are delicious. They’re hearty, have a nice tender texture and a rich but mild flavor. Perfect for my fierceness soup!
I added some awesome fat-busting ingredients like lentils, quinoa and fresh carrots to give my vegetarian collard greens soup some extra rocket fuel. Rocket fuel in this case being fiber, protein and nutrients. And the quinoa and lentils in particular are massively filling.
And I brought it in, full of flavor and rocket fuel, at 97 calories a cup. Yer!
And as if that wasn’t enough…turns out collard greens make you sexy. And of course I Googled “do collard greens make you sexy.” Who doesn’t do that every day?
Collard greens make you sexy in two ways. Three, if you could the sexy moans you’ll be making as you ravish this soup.
One is they’re full of antioxidants like calcium, folic acid and magnesium. And those antioxidants are great at getting rid of libido-reducing contaminants in our systems.
So if you need another reason to love antioxidants, high five!
The other is more direct. Greens like kale, spinach, chard and our friend collard greens here boost histamine production, and apparently that’s a thing when it comes to climax.
Histamines = better orgasms. And collard greens boost histamine production. So using that logic…carry the two…
Collard greens = better orgasms.
A sentence that, until this moment, I have not said nearly enough.
Did my should-be-patented vegetarian collard greens soup help me lose weight? Heck. Yes.
And I scarfed it with such near orgasmic delight that I had to make three batches in the space of two weeks. I’m about to make another batch tomorrow. This soup is my jam. It’s one of my favorite recipes I’ve ever shared, so if you make it give my baby some Instagram love and tag it #sexycollardgreens. Share the fierceness!
Eat Healthy Eat Happy
Yields 14 cups
This vegetarian collard greens soup will keep you full, satisfied and feeling great. Awesome for losing weight!
10 minPrep Time
1 hrCook Time
1 hr, 10 Total Time
- 1 Tbs olive oil
- 2 tsp smoked paprika
- 1 tsp chili powder
- 1 tsp cumin
- pinch red pepper flakes
- 1 onion, chopped
- 3 large carrots, sliced
- 3 stalks celery, chopped
- 10 c water
- 15 oz. can no-salt-added diced tomatoes
- 6 oz. can no-salt-added tomato paste
- 2 Tbs lower sodium tamari or soy sauce
- 2 Tbs lemon juice
- 1 Tbs salt-free herb seasoning (I like Mrs. Dash)
- 1 Tbs sugar/sweetener, your choice (see recipe notes)
- 1 tsp roasted garlic granules or garlic powder
- 1/2 tsp salt
- fresh black pepper to taste
- 1 c dried lentils
- 6 c packed collard greens, stems removed
- 1/4 c uncooked quinoa
- Prep the veggies and greens.
- Add the oil to a large, lidded cooking pot.
- Add the paprika, chili powder, cumin and red pepper flakes.
- Raise the heat to medium.
- Add the onion, carrots and celery. Saute about 10 minutes.
- Add the water, tomatoes, paste, tamari or soy sauce, lemon juice, herb seasoning, sweetener, garlic granules, salt, pepper and lentils. Stir to combine.
- Stir in the collard greens.
- Raise the heat to medium high. Bring to a boil.
- Cover and turn the heat down to a simmer.
- Simmer for 30 minutes, stirring occasionally.
- Stir in the quinoa.
- Simmer another 15-20 minutes.
The tablespoon of sweetener brings the best flavor out of the tomato paste and diced tomatoes. Anything sweet will work. I usually use maple syrup or coconut palm sugar because they have some flavor, and I’ve also used agave and regular sugar (white and brown). I’ve used no-calorie sweeteners in similar recipes, so they’re another option. According to Splenda®, 1 1/2 packets equal a tablespoon of sugar.
Either red or green lentils are fine.
I’m thinking of those herb blends which try to mimic salty flavor. I’m partial to Mrs. Dash®. I think I’ve tried all the varieties except the fajita blend in this recipe with good results, and it would probably work well too.
There are quite a few brands of no-salt seasonings available. I’ll add a list of ones you can get from Amazon soon. I also found some homemade no-salt seasoning recipes online, like this All-Purpose No-Salt Seasoning Mix on Allrecipes.
Thanks to Bustle.com for telling me all about the inherent sexiness of collard greens, and thanks to Graeme for being my sexy soup model.